Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The Real Waterworld

Once upon a time, a large comet hit the water planet of XRGEE Alpha. The resulting shockwave sent many megatons of water into orbit around the planet and drifting off into the greater vacuum beyond the pull of the planet's gravity. Caught up in this unreasonably wet catastrophe was Bleegrx, a Tri-Crowned Flampjacker. Tri-Crowned Flampjackers look like what you might get if you combined a sperm whale with an octopus the size of a small IRS office building, gave it three heads, looked at the result and decided to throw the whole mess out and start over from scratch.

Bleegrx was understandably confused. One minute Bleegrx had been chasing a school of small cephalopods and the next minute he was suspended miles above the vast ocean watching the big blue planet stubbornly refuse to adjust its proximity to him. All of a sudden a great glob of water splashed into him, scattering from the impact and going into complex little decaying orbits around him. He reached out and gathered the globules and droplets back toward him as they magnified and distorted the pattern of stars that was all around him, each a tiny imperfect lens. He carefully pulled the pieces of water together until he had a small wiggly globe. More assaults by rogue chunks of water, and eventually Bleegrx was swimming again; this time in a sphere of water, a new moon to XRGEE Alpha that grew larger with each mass of water that splashed into its surface sending waves in complex undulating patterns through the globe and across its surface.

As Bleegrx swam around checking out his new environment, he could see all of XGREE Alpha on one side and all sorts of stars and gas clouds on the other, all of it distorted by the water all around him. "That was unexpected," he said to himself.

I am Sam Bentwood and had practically nothing to do with that comet.

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